


Professor Layton and the Haunted Tesco

by Ceyanne_Twilight



Category: Layton Kyouju Series | Professor Layton Series
Genre: Crack, Gen, I’ll add tags as I continue, but taken semi seriously, honestly more like satire of the series than a straight up shitpost, vague and more or less child friendly references to horror themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 13:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30055989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceyanne_Twilight/pseuds/Ceyanne_Twilight
Summary: Professor Layton receives a letter asking him to investigate the eerie paranormal activity that goes on at a local Tesco Express, but only under very specific conditions. Moderately pretentious and exceedingly British, this adventure will be inaccurately described by Luke as the most exciting one yet.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	Professor Layton and the Haunted Tesco

**Author's Note:**

> This whole fic spiraled out of a shitpost I made on Tumblr forever ago. I hope it gains some semblance of momentum and that I’ll see it through to the end. <3

Early morning sunlight streamed through the window, illuminating the dust particles floating through the air and bringing out the bright orange in the mug of earl grey sitting amidst papers on the messy desk. Professor Layton picked the tea up with his free hand, savoring a long sip. With the other, he sifted through the pile of letters Luke brought him from the main office earlier.

He picked out a select handful, shuffling the rest to the back of the pile as he read the names of the senders. Receiving this type of mail was not an uncommon happenstance: strangers who had heard of him through newspaper spotlights and hyperbolized word of mouth, sending him pitches and problems, puzzles and inquiries. Requests. 

One letter in particular piqued his interest. Layton neatly sliced the flap of the envelope open, pulling out the message from one Mrs. Rosalind Entira. He leaned back with his tea, scanning the page.

_ Dear Professor Hershel Layton, _

_ I hope this doesn’t come as a disturbance, but I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I’m afraid there’s no one I can turn to. My friend recommended you to me on the grounds of your success in cracking open a conundrum posed by her cousin about two years ago. Perhaps you remember- the town was swarming with an invasive bird species bent on attacking villagers. You put together that a smuggling ring fronting as a road maintenance service introduced trained Australian magpies to distract the authorities and potential witnesses, forcing them inside, while they exchanged goods in broad daylight and collected valuables the bird picked up along the way.  _

_ You see, my husband has been murdered. We went on holiday to our Devon estate. It was quite the lovely country home, but I’m afraid I can’t see it the same way anymore. We’d thrown parties over the course of the past few weeks- ample opportunity for someone in the crowd to pull him aside and do the deed- but curiously enough, it happened while he was home alone. I stepped out to town to buy some groceries, but when I returned, I found him practically carved open on the kitchen floor. It was awful. I can’t imagine why anyone would do this, not to him. Of course, I promptly called the police, but they haven’t found a single lead. That haunting image of his body will be burned into my mind forever. Please, Professor, could you take his case on? _

_ -Rosalind Entira _

Layton placed the paper on the desk, looking out the window. He was admittedly interested. A witness-less, motiveless crime at a country estate? But he was so occupied this month. Between grading midterm papers, co-hosting an archeological conference on Gressenheller’s behalf, and getting into the habit of actually  _ planning _ his seminars, the Professor simply had no time to leave London. He folded the letter back into its envelope, placing it in the inquiry portion of his personal letterbox. Finishing off his earl grey, he opened the next message.

_ Professor Layton, _

_ I have a case for you which is leaving me truly baffled. Where do I even start? I work as a regional manager of Tesco Express here in London, but recently I’ve heard complaints of supernatural activity in one of my locations. There have been reports of packaged goods flying off of shelves, red liquid dripping from the ceiling, and a shadowy figure with glowing eyes standing in the corner before disappearing. On top of that, there seems to be an odd pattern to this behavior; it only appears to happen around 7am when the temperature outside is higher than 25°C. People are saying the store is haunted, and unnerving rumors speculating about its sinister backstory are making their way around town. Malicious spirit or not, this whole ordeal has been a detriment to business. Could you please help me get to the bottom of this? _

_ -Manfred Djerr _

“OHOHO,” the Professor laughed, eyebrows raised. He folded the letter into his pocket as he stood up from the desk, grabbing his top hat from its hook. “Now this is a puzzle indeed”.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a solution to the mystery planned already but it’s kinda stupid as hell... nothing a boatload of vivid sensory imagery can’t fix. I’m not one to make original fandom characters, but there will be some spontaneously generated OCs in this solely for the sake of the plot. More major characters will show up in future chapters so stay tuned!  
> Also if anyone knows how to make the chapter count say 1/? please let me know!


End file.
